All this snow the country is experiencing, soon it will turn to spring rains: swollen streams, filled reservoirs, rain barrels, buckets and wells. "April showers bring May flowers" the saying goes. The photo here is of a plastic garden bucket filled to the brim with spring rain. And in Psalm 39:12 the psalmist prays:
O Lord, hear my prayer,
O Lord, turn your ear to my cry;
do not be deaf to my tears.
Life on this planet is a complicated often painful affair. The psalmist knows, and in three short bursts he calls out to God: Hear my prayer; turn your ear to my cry; don't be deaf to my tears. We're not strangers to God; our lives matter. The psalmist seems to understand that we're in a partnership with God, and so he's confident in calling out with his three requests, as if to say: "Hey, I'm over here; don't forget me." We all know that place.
But how deep the psalmist's pain must be - he calls his prayer a cry. We heard this before in Psalm 5:3: Attend to the sound of my cries, my King and my God.
Don't be deaf to my tears! These are loud, sobbing tears. God doesn't need the reminder to pay attention of course, but we feel the need to express the grief and pain with the attendant questions: Am I alone in this? Is there a remedy? Will I feel this way forever?
Some people hold in tears, even for a life time. "You need a good cry" someone might say, or, "You've got buckets of tears inside." An old wound, abuse, rejection, self-hatred, betrayal, loneliness, sickness, exploitation, loss, failure. We might put a bucket out in the yard where it will fill with rain these next spring weeks - a Lenten invitation to acknowledge the tears, (they are actually a healing gift) and to bring them to this psalm verse.
Archbishop Anthony Bloom wrote: "Don't pray until you feel something." Well, there you have it.
